My life is basically poop

I don't say this in a self-pitying way. I say this in a much more literal way than I ever imagined possible.

Allow me to explain.

Five years ago, my maternal grandmother, a then-84-year-old Japanese immigrant with only just passable command of English, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. I assume she'd had it for some time without being diagnosed, but she had what we'll generously call an "episode"--she forgot how doorknobs worked and demanded to know why we were going to hit her with a hammer, and I'm sure you don't need to be told that no one was going to hit her with anything, let alone a hammer--and thus our family's long journey into the poop-strewn hellscape that is this disease began.

I'm opting to just blame IE

I haven't done any kind of serious coding work in years, so making this layout was basically just a week of throwing things at the XML editor and seeing what stuck.

After approximately eighty nonillion tweaks and changes, I previewed the layout in my usual browser, Firefox, and was finally more or less satisfied. Everything looked to be properly positioned, nothing was mysteriously invisible, it was all good.

But I knew I had to check it in IE, just to be sure.

FUCKING SHIT.

So now I'm back to playing coding Whack-a-Mole trying to fix one thing only to have another go awry. And I'm too stubborn to ask anyone for help, so I have only my own meager experience and dubious logical reasoning skills to guide me.

Ultimately, though, it's IE's fault.